Like an angel, standing in a shaft of light

Just a heads up, this is a personal post and isn't related to dishes, cooking, or decorating. It's about my passion for the Grateful Dead and the music they shared with countless fans over generations.

My first experience seeing the Grateful Dead was in the 1980s at Alpine Valley Music Theater in East Troy, Wisconsin. Do I recall the exact date of that first show? No. It might have been 1986, 1987, or 1988. Back then, I didn't keep track of my concerts, set lists, or tickets. I saw them before cell phones, so no pictures exist. My last concert with Dead and Company was at Grateful Dead 60 on August 3, 2025. That's about 37 years of following the same band, a band that was formed two years after I was born. Musicians have come and gone in the band, but the core five were the Grateful Dead: Bobby Weir on rhythm guitar, Jerry Garcia on lead guitar, Phil Lesh on bass, Mickey Hart, and Billy Kreutzmann on drums. Everyone has their favorite music eras—mine is after Keith and Donna Jean Godchaux joined, particularly in the late '70s, especially 1977 and 1978. This year, we lost Phil and Donna Jean. Donna and I shared the same birthday.

On Saturday, January 10th, it was announced that Bobby passed away. I was heartbroken. If you know anything about the Grateful Dead, you know Jerry was a guitar virtuoso, his playing unmatched and beloved by me, but I've always been a "Bobby fan."

What is a Grateful Dead concert like? Why are they so special? Picture over 60,000 people dancing and singing along to every song. The joy experienced by those attending is beyond words. Deadheads form a community, a family, a tribe. The people beside you aren't strangers; you begin talking about what shows you've been to, favorite venues, what songs you are chasing and pretty soon you are friends. So, why attend multiple shows? Each show had a different set list and song order. The Dead's catalog included over 450 songs, making every show unique.

I didn't see the Dead again until I moved to Chicago and caught their show at Soldier Field in 1991. My soon-to-be concert buddy, "Vanessa," and I entered the venue with our boyfriends and said, "See ya!" as we headed for the rail in front of the stage. I discovered a picture online from this concert, which took place on June 22, 1991—I was there. I still own the t-shirt I bought in the lot. By the way, the boyfriend ended up marrying me.

The set list was:

Set 1: Hell In A Bucket, Shakedown Street, Wang Dang Doodle, Friend Of The Devil, When I Paint My Masterpiece, Brown Eyed Women, Let It Grow

Set 2: Foolish Heart, Looks Like Rain > Jam > Crazy Fingers, Playin In The Band, Terrapin Station>Drums>Jam>Dark Star Jam> Playin In The Band reprise, Black Peter, One More Saturday

Encore: The Weight

(The arrows indicate that the songs flow right into the next, versus a pause between songs.)

Jerry passed away in 1995. I vividly recall where I was when I heard the news. I pulled over to the side of the road and cried. It marked the end of something special. For a while, the remaining band members reconnected in various forms, but I never attended any of their performances.

Then, in 2015, the "Fare Thee Well" concerts celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Grateful Dead's founding with two concerts in Santa Clara, CA, less than 20 miles from my home, and three concerts in Chicago at Soldier Field. I had to attend. Getting tickets for either set of shows was a frenzy! My husband managed to secure two tickets for Santa Clara, and I took my oldest son to the June 27th show. He also obtained two tickets for the July 4th show at Soldier Field for concert buddy, "Vanessa" and I. The Fare Thee Well shows featured the remaining members of the Grateful Dead: Bobby, Phil, Mickey, and Billy, along with Bruce Hornsby, who played keyboards with the band intermittently from 1990-1992. The band also included Jeff Chimenti on keyboards with Bruce and Trey Anastasio from Phish on lead guitar.

Set 1: Truckin', Uncle John's Band, Alligator>Cumberland Blues, Born Cross-Eyed>Cream Puff War, Viola Lee Blues

At the Santa Clara show, as the first set concluded, a rainbow arched over the stadium. Some considered it a sign from above, perhaps Jerry's spirit. My oldest son found the concert particularly memorable. Both of my sons were raised on the Dead's music, enjoying Jerry and David Grisman's "Not for Kids Only" from their cribs.

Set 2: Cryptical Envelopment>Dark Star>St. Stephen>The Eleven>Turn On Your Love Light>Drums>Space>What's Become of the Baby>The Other One>Morning Dew

Encore: Casey Jones

In Chicago, I reunited with my concert bestie to attend the Fourth of July show at Soldier Field. We didn't rush to the rail in front of the band because security was strict, but the magic of the event was still there. I won't delve into whether Trey was the right choice or if he should have sung more... it was the Dead!

Set 1: Shakedown Street, Liberty, Standing on the Moon, Me and My Uncle, Tennessee Jed, Cumberland Blues, Little Red Rooster, Friend of the Devil, Deal 

Set 2: Bird Song, The Golden Road (to Unlimited Devotion) > Lost Sailor > Saint of Circumstance > West L.A. Fadeaway, Foolish Heart >Drums >Space > Stella Blue, One More Saturday Night 

Encore: US Blues

And then there was Dead & Company.

"Escaping through the lily fields, I came across an empty space

It trembled and exploded, left a bus stop in its place

The bus came by and I got on, that's when it all began

There was Cowboy Neal at the wheel of the bus to never ever land" *

*Lyrics to "The Other One" written by Bob Weir

Bobby, Billy, Mickey, and now Jeff, Oteil Burbridge, and John Mayer. Dead & Company was established in 2015 following the Fare Thee Well tour. Together for a decade, they performed over 300 shows. Their final performance was Grateful Dead 60 on August 3, 2025, which was also Bobby's last show. I've attended at least 50 shows over those ten years, not counting the times I saw Bobby with the Wolf Brothers, which was at least 10 times. I experienced Dead & Company at numerous venues such as Alpine Valley, Wrigley Field, Shoreline, Citi Field, Hollywood Bowl, The Forum, Madison Square Garden, The Gorge, and the Sphere. The cities included Phoenix, San Diego, Hartford CT, and Miami. The Wolf Brothers took us to various cities and venues. Halloween concerts, Bobby's 75th Birthday at the Warfield, "Dead Ahead"in Mexico -- so many memories to carry forward. With my concert buddy "Vanessa," or my husband, or my sons, I was on the bus.

The Jerry versus Trey versus John lead guitar debate. There is only one Jerry, but all are world-class. Trey and John bring their own unique touch to the music, and I’m okay with that.

"Let the words be yours, I am done with mine."*

*Lyrics to "Cassidy" written by John Perry Barlow / Bob Weir

Bob said, “My major consideration for what I do—the decisions I make, how I approach this or that—is not what ripples it will make now. My major consideration is what will people say about what I’m thinking or doing in 300 years. It occurs to me if we do all this stuff right, they will still be talking about it in 300 years."

Sixty years is a long time for a band to endure. At the shows, there were generations of Deadheads—from people in their 80s to toddlers. My sons listen to the Dead, with the younger one more so than the older, but both are fans; they know the music, the songs, and the lyrics. The music will continue to live on.

The title of this post is, "Like an angel, standing in a shaft of light," lyrics from one of my favorite songs, Estimated Prophet, and favorite Dead jam, Estimated Prophet > Eyes of the World.

No one thought Jerry could be replaced, and indeed he wasn't, but the band played on. I will miss Bobby and this incarnation of the band. And the band will play on.

Final note: This post is dedicated to my fellow Deadhead friends, especially my concert bestie, Vanessa, and those I met along the journey: Ellen and Sandy, Christine and Julian, Danny and Beth, Gil, Michelle, Mark, Claire, Blake, Kenny, Paul, Ali, Doug, and Kathy (RIP), along with many others. Lastly, I believe all these photos are mine unless otherwise noted. If not, apologies to the photographer.